the last word, i have more important things to do

really?? you thought that you could post that bullshit on MY blog and everything would start falling back into place and we could all be a happy family..... i am glad that you finally realize that i don't have to like any of you, just as you don't have to like me... but know, that i have held my tongue on numerous occasions in an effort to be friendly, even though your social graces are non-existent. it's also interesting that for hating my blog so much, you choose to post on it instead of asking bobby for a meeting "to sort everything out"

and let's not confuse the issue by calling me YOUR family.... if i were family then it wouldn't matter how i behave or what i say, based on your argument you would accept me without criticism and i would be given the same excuse of "she's just being tessa".... and that's the difference. and since we're using names now christine made it clear when she asked bobby "why does tessa get to meet her,you aren't even married" ("her" being bobby's daughter) i guess we aren't all on the same "family" page, now are we.

as far as my shit not stinking or whatever... when i first started dating bobby, i wasn't allowed to meet all of his family. apparently some of you were tired of getting to know his girlfriends only to have them split up. it wasn't until i got pregnant the first time that all of a sudden "the family" realized that this was serious. this is also when i realized that none of you give a shit about me as a person, you just want to be buddies with whomever bobby ends up with. i guess you gambled on the wrong girl because i am still around and not going anywhere.

i guess first impressions do stick around for a while, and new one's are created. christine told me years ago what a bitch rondi was (nobody is upset with christine about calling out rondi's faults), i always thought rondi was nice... i didn't realize what a two faced, controlling person that she really is.... but now i know. i had thought alan was nice as well, i didn't realize that rondi has his balls locked up (since we're talking about those)... except when she goes out of town, then he gets his balls back and suddenly has the courage to call his baby brother and try and save face "even though we're having a little tiff." i have always thought bobby's father to be kind and warmhearted, even now i still think he is great (not that it matters because he probably thinks i'm a bitch as everyone seems to think this family drama is all because of me). i have never been close to bobby's mother, she was distant from the start and for whatever reason our meetings always seemed awkward, but bobby loves his mom and i have never tried to come between that, i feel like i get blamed for him not calling and seeing her as much as he used to, but that is his doing not mine.

at this point, love me or hate me, i don't give a shit. don't expect to come to my personal blog and make judgments on how i choose to vent my anger and frustration. and unless you are an idiot, don't post shit on my blog and expect it to go unnoticed... although your lack of basic punctuation makes for an interesting if not excruciating read.

i created this blog for myself.... to vent when needed and to share pictures as often as possible with family and friends. i don't complain that you come here and read it or view pictures that you really don't deserve to see. i would start a new one or make this one password protected but i don't feel i should have to. put your big girl panties on and get over it. if you don't like me, then don't expect to like what i have to say, and stay away from my blog. it's not like i am constantly bashing any of you on it anyways... one time, after a terrible life changing chain of events, and i even made a point to not use any one's name. aahhh, of course.... talking about the pink elephant in the room makes me a horrible person. hi, my name is tessa and i am a horrible person.

know that if you are going to point fingers at me and blame me for all of this, i will take an opportunity to have myself heard.... be happy i didn't email it to my whole address book in an effort to explain why we had to call off our wedding.

besides, let's remember what this is all really about... this is about christine being disrespectful to me, by claiming that i don't matter in bobby's life because we "aren't even married". alan was allowed to tell bobby that christine was bossier than usual to everybody that day (nobody seems to be upset with him for calling out her faults). bobby choose to not answer christine's phone calls for two months. bobby finally called christine after much prodding from me that he should talk to her and make things right (you're welcome for trying to fix it, even though honestly i would have rather not had to deal with her.... but we were supposed to be acting like a civilized family unit). and after that conversation, bobby and christine were headed toward a reconciliation... and out of respect i would have happily played along and gritted my teeth whenever she did something else that falls under "she's just being christine." so... none of this would have happened had alan & rondi not made the decision to step in and play christine's savior by demanding that we "stop being mean to christine" or bobby & i can't get married at their house.

that's great that it is your house and you certainly have the right to choose what goes on in it... but being family, i though we weren't supposed to judge each other.... isn't that what you are doing to us???

feeling like it was too late to try and plan for an alternate location, as it was only a few months before the wedding date... i had to play nice at alan & rondi's 4th of july party even though christine never even attempted to apologize for her rude behavior. i did my best to avoid a confrontation with christine but she was hell bent on having a conversation about our relationship and i kept telling her it isn't the time or place to discuss it. knowing that if i said one wrong word the blame would go solely on myself. christine went on to complain that it wasn't fair that bobby didn't even call her and tell her he was mad at her, i finally told christine that it is absurd that she thought it was acceptable to think that i don't have a right to meet bobby's daughter. even after that, christine wouldn't let it go... i told her that she was bossy and rude at her son's party. (pay attention, this is the ONLY part that i will apologize for.... i should have tried even harder to politely ignore her and keep my mouth shut) so, for that.... I AM SORRY!!!!

i am certainly not sorry that i now dislike the people who played a hand in all of this. turning it from a tiff that would have blown over into a huge family war. i do not have the desire, nor the time, to debate this with you people. bottom line is. you all wanted us to get married... we were finally getting it all together, and when the going gets tough you pit one sibling against the other, and blame it all on the outsider.... truly brilliant.

the fact that several of you have actually said that we should "just go to the courthouse and get married," completely floors me. i will not turn our wedding into an after thought because you people have decided that we aren't worthy of having "our dream wedding," an event that would have included our family and friends. i'm glad that you can sleep at night passing that judgment against us and saying that we are the ones who are picking everyone else apart. explain that one to me.

maybe you should take a closer look at yourself and find your part in all of this.... i already claimed my wrong doing. as far as my blog is concerned.... this is the way that i vent, if you don't like it, stop logging on to to see what i have to say. i didn't send my comments to anyone and didn't make a big deal about making any of you read it. look back 10 years ago and you would see that i did the same thing on my website when i was feeling frustrated, hell - look back to the beginning of this blog... and you will see that i vented about idiotic remarks about my breast milk. nobody got all hot and bothered about the way that i showed my frustration back then... guess it kinda sucks when people disrespect you doesn't it!!!

and if you love bobby like you say you do.... DO NOT bring up his being gone and question his integrity.... those comments tell me everything i need to know about you people.... I AM THE ONE THAT HAS CHOSEN TO LOVE HIM, AND THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A DOUBT IN MY MIND. NOT ONE SINGLE QUESTION. you people make me sick. so go ahead and shelter poor christine and coddle her and don't make her take responsibility for her part in how her life has turned out. continue to let her act however she wants and create an excuse as to why it is ok. you have been enabling her this long.... why stop now. she may blame bobby for all of the bad things that have happened to her.... but we have something called free will.... we all make choices in life, and the majority of us are made to live with the consequences.

so until you have lived a day in our shoes, don't you sneak onto my blog and say that you question bobby, but you love him because he is family.... i love him, and i question you.... where were you when he needed you. where are you now, when i fear for his safety. where are you when i have nightmares of him being taken from OUR FAMILY. where are you when i feel like we have to earn the right to live our lives in peace.... where are you? that's right, you are at your house, living your perfect life, coming and going as you please. so don't tell me that we couldn't handle christine's life and demand that we ignore her behavior. she couldn't handle our life, and let's face it.... she can't handle her life.

if you have something to say, call bobby and discuss it with him. the only reason that i didn't call all of you individually when this all went down was out of respect for bobby. this isn't my fight. this is YOUR family. it's clear that i am not part of it, and i am fine with that. when/if you all work this out i will support bobby on whatever decision he makes. but i will NOT allow any of you to disrespect me or MY family, to my face, and get away with it.

thanks for reading all of this..... i feel better having vented.... now, if you don't like what i have said.... you know what to do..... go away and stop logging on to see what we are up to.... not to worry, unless you push me again... i have no intentions of blogging about this again.